You Will Have Regrets…Choose the Ones You Can Live With


We will have regrets in motherhood. It is inevitable.

Every yes is a no or a “not entirely” to something else.

We don’t get it all done and we certainly won’t get it all right.

Avoiding regret is a futile effort, but I think we have to choose the regrets we can live with.

I may regret some “gaps” in my children’s education, but I would regret dishonoring their personhood exponentially more.

I may regret some experiences they never have, but I would regret not spending so much formative time with them so much more.

I may regret some moments I “missed” with them, but I would more profoundly regret losing myself entirely in motherhood.

I may regret some handicrafts that we never complete, but I would regret not preparing them for a technological world even more.

I may regret some life skills that we don’t master, but I’d regret not mastering the skills of good thinking and good communication even more.

I may regret some behavior that I never quite figure out how to perfectly address, but I would deeply regret having “well behaved” kids who dehumanize and dishonor others.

I may regret not perfecting their nutrition, but I know I’d certainly regret teaching them to demonize food and complicating their relationship with it beyond repair.

I may regret some choices we make but the regret of not treating my children like human beings instead of possessions would be insurmountable.

I may regret some of their choices, but I’d profoundly regret not giving them the freedom to make them.

I may regret some of their opinions or positions, but I’d be weighed down by the regret of turning them into a replica of myself.

I may regret some things that I never quite get a handle on, but Iw old have regretted ignoring anything that I have paid attention to so much more.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t care about it all and that I don’t continue to imperfectly pursue more of it…

It just means that motherhood is full of choices, and I choose the things I know I’d regret most if I didn’t. 

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