Fitness was one of the first ways that I fully realized the reality of my personhood outside of being a mom and homemaker.
My weight loss and weight lifting journey was prompted by a “start living or get ready to die” moment, but it became so much more.
I have degenerative arthritis and fibromyalgia and I truly can’t remember what it’s like to not be in intense pain.
So, my physical health was my primary motivation, and of course I now realize how much it contributes to my mental health and overall wellness.
What I didn’t know that it would reveal is how much I had failed to preserve my own personhood.
I read and studied and I talked publicly about personhood. I was an advocate for the value of a mother’s personhood…
Yet, I somehow still saw that personhood for myself as an aspect of my identity as mother and homemaker.
I read and studied as an act of preserving my own personhood… but the primary reason I cited for the value of those habits was that it made me a more equipped mother.
And, it does, indeed.
But it also nourishes me as a human, and my own enjoyment and vitality is enough of a reason to pursue my own interests… entirely outside of motherhood.
It was fitness that illuminated this to me.
As powerlifting became a passion and the amount of time that I invested into it exceeded what was necessary for my health and wellness, I began to have to identify my reasons as more than “keeping me healthy enough to be a good mom.”
That is A reason that I work out, but it is not the sole reason.
I lift because I love to.
And, that, my friends, is enough.
Even if it *didn’t* contribute to my ability to mother well, it would still be worthy of my pursuit and time.
I have learned to do what I love simply because I love it and to stop attempting to quantity or justify it by means of my motherhood.
Because, as a person, I am more than a mom.
And persons need passions and fun and challenge and pursuits all their own.
Full stop.
I am a person, and I love to lift weights.
Doing so without guilt or shame or minimization is an act of preservation of my personhood.
My weight loss and weight lifting journey was prompted by a “start living or get ready to die” moment, but it became so much more.
I have degenerative arthritis and fibromyalgia and I truly can’t remember what it’s like to not be in intense pain.
So, my physical health was my primary motivation, and of course I now realize how much it contributes to my mental health and overall wellness.
What I didn’t know that it would reveal is how much I had failed to preserve my own personhood.
I read and studied and I talked publicly about personhood. I was an advocate for the value of a mother’s personhood…
Yet, I somehow still saw that personhood for myself as an aspect of my identity as mother and homemaker.
I read and studied as an act of preserving my own personhood… but the primary reason I cited for the value of those habits was that it made me a more equipped mother.
And, it does, indeed.
But it also nourishes me as a human, and my own enjoyment and vitality is enough of a reason to pursue my own interests… entirely outside of motherhood.
It was fitness that illuminated this to me.
As powerlifting became a passion and the amount of time that I invested into it exceeded what was necessary for my health and wellness, I began to have to identify my reasons as more than “keeping me healthy enough to be a good mom.”
That is A reason that I work out, but it is not the sole reason.
I lift because I love to.
And, that, my friends, is enough.
Even if it *didn’t* contribute to my ability to mother well, it would still be worthy of my pursuit and time.
I have learned to do what I love simply because I love it and to stop attempting to quantity or justify it by means of my motherhood.
Because, as a person, I am more than a mom.
And persons need passions and fun and challenge and pursuits all their own.
Full stop.
I am a person, and I love to lift weights.
Doing so without guilt or shame or minimization is an act of preservation of my personhood.
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