Sometimes it can seem like the only things a teenager is thinking about are when they can next go to sleep, what is being added to Fortnite next, and whether or not you bought the right brand of their favorite snack (or maybe that’s just mine 🤪), but they’re thinking deeply about so much more than they know how to communicate or even to consciously clarify for themselves.
And I think one thing that they’re thinking about fairly regularly is their future. This is developmentally normal, and even exciting, but it can also be a pressure cooker of stress that they shouldn’t yet be taking on.
I’m absolutely not an expert on talking to teens, but I do know that they need us to engage them in conversation and to listen well.
Here’s what I (try to) do to talk about the future with my teenager:
1️⃣ Open Ended Questions-
I want to engage conversation, but I have to be free of my own agenda and be willing to truly listen and let conversations go where they lead.
2️⃣ Organic Conversations
There’s nothing that will shut a teenager down faster than saying “let’s sit down and talk about ____”.
Whenever it’s possible, I wait for opportunities to discuss the future and the present in organic ways.
3️⃣ Without Pressure…
It’s absurd to think that most humans will know what they want from their life at 14, or 16, or even 20. Becoming takes time, and a fully developed prefrontal cortex helps with considering major life choices 😘. So I try to take off the pressure and give him permission to enjoy being 14.
4️⃣ … But With Honesty
He is becoming who he will be right now, and his character, passions, gifts, dreams, and goals do matter. So I try to honestly draw connections between now and the years ahead.
Honestly, teenage parenting and high school has been really challenging for me, but I’m finding that our wide and rich feast is providing us many opportunities for these types of discussions in a way that an overly rigorous and “future focused” academic plan would never have space for, and I’m grateful. ♥️
For more #homestretchhomeschooling:
@juiceboxhomeschool
@redefiningschool
@rootedinrest
And I think one thing that they’re thinking about fairly regularly is their future. This is developmentally normal, and even exciting, but it can also be a pressure cooker of stress that they shouldn’t yet be taking on.
I’m absolutely not an expert on talking to teens, but I do know that they need us to engage them in conversation and to listen well.
Here’s what I (try to) do to talk about the future with my teenager:
1️⃣ Open Ended Questions-
I want to engage conversation, but I have to be free of my own agenda and be willing to truly listen and let conversations go where they lead.
2️⃣ Organic Conversations
There’s nothing that will shut a teenager down faster than saying “let’s sit down and talk about ____”.
Whenever it’s possible, I wait for opportunities to discuss the future and the present in organic ways.
3️⃣ Without Pressure…
It’s absurd to think that most humans will know what they want from their life at 14, or 16, or even 20. Becoming takes time, and a fully developed prefrontal cortex helps with considering major life choices 😘. So I try to take off the pressure and give him permission to enjoy being 14.
4️⃣ … But With Honesty
He is becoming who he will be right now, and his character, passions, gifts, dreams, and goals do matter. So I try to honestly draw connections between now and the years ahead.
Honestly, teenage parenting and high school has been really challenging for me, but I’m finding that our wide and rich feast is providing us many opportunities for these types of discussions in a way that an overly rigorous and “future focused” academic plan would never have space for, and I’m grateful. ♥️
For more #homestretchhomeschooling:
@juiceboxhomeschool
@redefiningschool
@rootedinrest
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